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August 9th, 2009
09:27 am - Who Knows If The Moon's:
who knows if the moon's by e.e. cummings
| | User Rating: | 8.5 /10 (19 votes) | | | | | who knows if the moon's a balloon,coming out of a keen city in the sky--filled with pretty people? (and if you and i should
get into it,if they should take me and take you into their balloon, why then we'd go up higher with all the pretty people
than houses and steeples and clouds: go sailing away and away sailing into a keen city which nobody's ever visited,where
always it's Spring)and everyone's in love and flowers pick themselves | |
Current Location: Hawthorne Heights Current Music: Amadou et Mariam
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August 3rd, 2009
02:42 pm - Housekeeping: I have a Twitter (if I haven't told you already): bigdunks
RB just started a new blog: http://www.theshoehornjournal.blogspot.com/
The meaning of YellowTuxedo? Not taking the serious things so seriously.
Who do I miss on LJ? Jordo, Matty, Nick, Jacob E. Wallace
Number of times I've left LJ for another blogging site: many; 5-6 at least
Number of times I've come back to LJ: every
Who got me interested in blogging? Jonathan Monroe; and Jordan James to a lesser extent; I believe we started around the same time.
Fact check about the previous statement: Jordan started his on May 24th; I started mine on May 25th
How the LJ has changed? updates on daily activities--> critical essays about my world, thoughts--> dumping site for misc. information --> updates on daily activities, again
Highest number of readers? 20+
Lowest number of readers? 3 (now)
Favorite aspect? Titles, and "Current Music"
Least favorite aspect? LJ spell check
Final thoughts? Go suck a lemon.
Who is asking me these questions? Hey, I said get out of here!
Are you going crazy? OUT!
Will he keep this gimmick up much longer? No. Current Location: Rhodes College Current Music: Jordan James--"ChinaOK2"
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02:37 pm - Fifth Birthday of My LJ: Didn't realize that May 25th of this year marked the five-year point for this LJ. I'm now at 850 entries, which means that I average one post every 2.14 days. Not bad for a busy bee.
In lieu of a card, please leave me a comment telling me your feelings toward this journal.
Bonus! The three names this journal has had in five years: -Just Like Neon -One Day A Big Wind Will Come/A Big Wind -MJG Really Likes Slip-Ons
Current Location: Rhodes College Current Music: The Kinks--"This Strange Effect"
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12:24 pm - Last Week and the Last Week: Harrison broke up with Kelly the other night. After holding out all summer and keeping herself busy. Poor girl. She seems to be trying to keep her head up but I know she welcomes any distraction. We went to Osaka on Friday night for sushi and hung out at my apartment. Rebecca and Matthew came over and drank margaritas that tasted like dirt. We had every intention of going to see Jeremiah Jones play a show at the Edge but had too much going on to make it. Mallory Robert, Jenny Davis, Alex Favazza, and Alex's friend John came over after seeing Jeremiah and palled around with us for a while. Alex is back in town teaching at Southwind High School and Jenny had her wisdom teeth taken out, still a little puffy. Alex kept us entertained most of the night, as he is apt to do, and finally I had to coax everyone into leaving because it was bed-time.
Saturday I went to Bryan Kelly and Sarah Holway-Kelly's wedding after getting lunch at Bogie's with RB. It was pouring all afternoon but let up just in time for the ceremony (which was inside anyway; no big). I got to see several old Ross Road folks and some more Harding Academy friends that I had not seen in several years, in some cases. Brooke Jackson and Sarah Sparks-Brooks chatted with me a bit and caught me up on their new lives as thriving young women in the grad-school and married worlds, respectively. The wedding itself was cute, especially when Bryan choked up while saying his vows. Great couple. Couldn't be happier for them.
RB and I tried to catch Matthew at Houston's right after the wedding to see if he could make us a drink but we got suckered into sitting down and ordering a meal. We essentially ate dinner #1 at 4:00 PM, a record, even for my family. Laid low for the rest of the afternoon and watched Weeds with J and J. Best line of the episode: Cankle Bitch. Went to the P&H later the evening for dinner #2 and drinks and pool, etc. Somehow bumped in Alex, Jenny, and John for the second night in a row. After a few hours everyone went over to the Haas house where we played piano, guitar, and sang anything from "Candle in the Wind" to "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing," choir pieces to show tunes. Matthew and Alex stole the show, though J and J's cover of "This Strange Effect" by the Kinks may have been the most charming and endearing ditty of the evening. Played a few games of chess out on the back porch and salted a slug.
Sunday started strangely as RB and I drove through McDonald's for lunch at 11-ish; she left to go tutor; and I met with J and J and Matthew for breakfast at Bob's Barksdale. Lunch then breakfast, in that order, and in less than an hour from each other. If it is any consolation, I ate lightly at both restaurants. Spent the afternoon watching a travel documentary of Sigur Ros in Iceland and then went out to my parent's house for a salmon dinner. My parents surprised RB with a birthday cake (on August 2nd; her birthday is August 29th) because there was (and is) the chance that they would not see her again before she left for NYC.
Which leads me to the last week, RB's last six days in Memphis before making the big move. I'll have to keep you updated with the great things that happen each night. I want to make it special for her; it will probably be her last few days in Memphis for a very long time. I know tomorrow we are having people over to the Haas house for ice-cream cake, grilling, etc. to celebrate her last night in town with Matthew (he leaves for Philly on Wednesday). We leave for Nashville on Friday to see Mitchell and MSTRKRFT. Then she leaves for Houston on Sunday. The other few days will have to be played by ear, as they say.
In more serious news (I suppose), I resigned from my position as General Manager of Rhodes Radio. It was an extremely difficult and personal decision that I had been thinking about for some time, but I couldn't bring myself to half-ass a job that requires someone with much more dedication and talent than I have at this point. I've gotten a good bit of flack from a few folks--some aggressive, some passive-aggressive--but I have hopes that things will mellow out in due time. I will always be a fan of the shouting man and I can't wait to see what Allen Pierce et al have in store for us this year.
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July 28th, 2009
01:54 pm - Paris Review Interview with Hemingway: The further you go with writing, the more alone you are. Most of your best and oldest friends die. Others move away. You do not see them except rarely...you exchange comic, sometimes cheerfully obscene and irresponsible letters, and it is almost as good as talking. But you are more alone because that is how you must work and the time to work is shorter all the time and if you waste it you feel you have committed a sin for which there is no forgiveness. --Ernest Hemingway, in an interview with the Paris Review
Click here to see the book containing this interview, plus interviews with Truman Capote, T.S. Eliot, Saul Bellow, Kurt Vonnegut, and Elizabeth Bishop.
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July 24th, 2009
09:20 am - A Crash-Course of the Past Week, Involving Chicago, Pizza, and Shows: So I've been back for a week and have forgotten to update. No big deal. No one reads this anyhow.
Chicago was incredible. It made me believe that I could live quite happily in the Midwest. RB and I had a great ride down; played Pokemon DS and listened to a lot of the new music on my iPod; got lost trying to find her grandparent's house; had to pull over once or twice to find change in the cup holders and seat-cracks just to pay our tolls; arrived very late and went straight to bed.
Awoke early the next morning and had muffins the size of a big thing, courtesy of Dunkin Donuts (which, by the way, dominates Starbucks in the Midwest 5:1). Took a train down into the city; walked confusedly for a bit up and down the bustling streets until finding a pizza place for lunch. A few beers; an individual deep dish for me plus a thin crust split between the two of us. Verdict: in a upset, thin crust takes the cake (or pie). Checked out the Urban Outfitters; visited Buckingham Fountain (so good, big); took a nap in Millennium Park; watched teenage hipsters ("scenesters" according to RB) play volleyball poorly; stepped inside the Public Library turned Cultural Center; so beautiful, and covered with names likes Emerson, Hawthorne, and Catullus; waited out the rain to see the Art Institute, which RB said was free after 5 PM; at 5 PM, realized that they were closing and that whatever notion she had about its being free was inaccurate and wishful; took the train back with an obnoxious family drinking beer and eating chips and dip; the little boy had red dye in his hair and looked like the nephew on Tom Goes to the Mayor.


The next day RB's aunt Lorie came out and took us to see Frank Lloyd Wright's house, easily my favorite part of the trip; I can't imagine having a house that isn't designed like this one; got some postcards for our summer scrapbook and took the train down into the city again; ate at the same pizza place again; polished off an XL with just three people; even better than the day before; saw a European looking family; saw a Mexican looking family; saw a Persian looking family; went to the Contemporary Arts Museum for about an hour before they closed (thanks for the warning, I thought); saw the Impressionist exhibit only; could have spent an entire day in there; might do it someday; bought some postcards for my room, including one or two Japanese prints; train home; met her uncle and aunt; looked at photographs from RB's farm in Michigan and the annual croquet game; went to bed early.
Sunday we woke up and went to church; wore plaid and skinny jeans; feared I would be under-dressed; turned out to be okay; was introduced to all of Grammy's friends as "Rebecca's friend Michael," which I found odd; died a little inside; discovered that it was just hunger; jotted notes about the Ten Commandments that I found thought-provoking (RB agreed); kind of a genius; nope, that was hunger too; sang some hymns; went to breakfast at Egglectic; kept getting touched by the waitress; had a fat-ass omelet and sourdough toast; drove all the way home.
As for the rest of the week, there is nothing too exciting to speak of. Pint night at Celtic with J&J and Matthew on Monday; drunk for $10; RB stayed home because she was feeling bad; a cat sneaked into my apartment; Matthew, Jordan, and I stayed up watching Little Rascals on VHS and listening to Matthew imitate Frankie Valli. Tuesday went to the Hi-Tone for Happy Hour (50% off pizza; $1 PBR drafts; $3 mixed drinks) with Matthew and Jordan; Matty ordered a very complicated drink that the bartender had never heard of; listened to a terrible band sound check; drove home in the rain; went to see Harry Potter 6 with Matthew and RB; wands are fun; swapped Matthew season 1 of Weeds for season 2 of Mad Men.
Wednesday my boss Bill Short got sick halfway through the day and so I sneaked upstairs and read Galway Kinnell's "Selected Poems" for 2+ hours; I have decided that he is my favorite poet, followed so closely by Philip Larkin; the two are very similar; drove out to my parent's house for shrimp spaghetti; watched some videos my sister took of kids at her day camp telling jokes; most were very funny, but only because they were small children; one kid fucked up "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?" by actually saying banana before that punchline; who cares; humble beginnings; watched home movies with Mom and Kelly; had a terribly sad moment when we saw footage of my late-aunt Melissa who killed herself a few years back, and her abusive husband Mike who was the catalyst for the tragedy; Mom cried for a bit but sobered up when we fast-forwarded to baby Kelly and baby Michael opening Christmas presents; baby Kelly kept saying "Wow!" and "Yay!" whenever she got happy and I just danced by running in circles; went back to the Haas house and did some laundry; hung out with J&J and RB on the porch; ate cinnamon cookies in the hammock.
Bill Short was sick again yesterday, so I didn't do any work for the first half of the day; posted a blog on my five albums for summer over at www.rhodesradio.org/blog and looked up prices on scooters for my stint living in Iceland; driving around Ring Road (look it up) on a Vespa will be incredible; ate a bowl of pineapple for lunch; went to Memphis Pizza Cafe for dinner with Jordan and RB; Happy Hour again, so we got $1 off our pizza and Killian's Irish Reds for $2 apiece; a waitress that was not ours came outside while RB was in the bathroom and took our cups; I thought it was Rashida Jones (see below), and am still not convinced it wasn't; got free tickets from Bill Short to see "Much Ado About Nothing" at BPAC; picked up Alicia Queen and got there pretty early; the seating was on the actual stage, and the stage design was very minimal, which worked wonders in this case; very intimate; very, very funny; I had never seen the play before, nor had I read it, and I had a delightful time; Alicia said she could get RB and me into seeing RENT tonight at Playhouse on the Square; let us keep our fingers crossed.
 I've been at work for an hour now and have only checked e-mail, Twitter, and LJ'd. I bought some strange citrus-green tea Nestea drink plus a Snicker's Marathon Energy bar and some Pop-tarts. I don't really want to think about how much fliff I've been throwing around lately. I start saving money...now. Oh, and really, does anyone read this besides lightningdream?
Current Location: Rhodes College Current Music: Frankie Valli--"I Can't Give You Anything But Love Baby"
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July 16th, 2009
09:28 am - On The Day I Left For Chicago...: ...I found a book in our library collection worth $150.00. No correlation; just information.
Last night RB and I began making spaghetti only to find that we had left the noodles over at the Haas house. We made a bowl of clam chowder and a Stouffer's flat-bread, respectively, instead, and forced our way through some Ben & Jerry's. Polished off what was left over of the sausage and sharp cheddar from the night before; got too full and thought about throwing up; expanded and swelled instead.
After dropping by the Haas house to get the air conditioning fixed (2nd time in 6 weeks), Jen and Jordan came back to Hawthorne Heights and joined the two of us in watching a documentary called The Cruise, which is about a New York City tour guide making meaning of his world through telling the history of New York City. It was one of the best documentaries I've seen (hat-tip Netflix Recommendations) and is one of a handful of films that has truly stuck with me and asked me to re-think about things in my life that keep me from taking part in the yea-saying, life-affirming "cruise" (the featured guide's metaphor for existence).
Rebecca and I are meeting J&J at Fino's for lunch now and getting ready to take a little road trip to Chicago. I haven't been in a few years, so this should be fun. Almost as fun as training Twiggy (the nickname for my new 1st Pokemon) along the way.
I'll be back soon to tell you all about it.
Current Location: Rhodes College
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July 15th, 2009
04:35 pm - The Kingdom of God Likened to a Deer Carcass: Eric Pankey teaches at George Mason. Great imagery; a great poem.
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What the crow abandons, worms relish.
If I stare long enough at these remains I will imagine a kingdom undone:
Surveyed. Staked off. Limestone and ivory. A cathedral built upon a temple.
This bone a buttress. That one a crossbeam. Every altar stone bloodless and sun-bleached.
Every chapel floor swept clean by the wind. For now, wind shudders the collapsing ribs,
Swirls up a mote of fur like milkweed silk, And touches the ruin intricately.
What the wind forsakes, dogs will drag away. |
Current Location: Rhodes College
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04:30 pm - The Future: Grad Schools I did some trimming, here's what is left. It may be the final list, save perhaps one or two. I'll apply to 12-14 schools to keep my options open.
Grad School List (7/15) -UMass (Amherst, MA) -NYU (New York, NY) -George Mason (Fairfax, VA) -Johns Hopkins (Baltimore, MD) -Maryland (College Park, MD) -UNC Greensboro (Greensboro, NC) -Virgina (Charlottesville, VA) -Alabama (Tuscaloosa, AL) -Arkansas (Fayetteville, AR) -Michigan (Ann Arbor, MI) -Minnesota (Minneapolis, MN) -Iowa (Iowa City, Iowa) -Texas (Austin, TX) -Montana (Missoula, MT) -Purdue (West Lafayette, IN) Current Location: Rhodes College Current Music: Au Revoir Simone--"Another Likely Story"
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08:14 am - Keep Kicking Your Legs: 1. I got in trouble at work for not clocking out at lunch (Who knew? Well, I kind of knew, but often forgot.) this summer and now have to under-report my hours for the week to compensate. I'm handing back over $250 at the same time that I am looking at $300+ plane tickets to NYC. Drat.
2. I carved a maze in the attic of the library by rearranging boxes and boxes and boxes of books.
3. J&J got back from Connecticut today. RB and I went grocery shopping and made a sausage and cheese tray for dinner. It was great and then we both got sick to our tummies, RB more than me. I also got some generic brand Schnuck's cola that I like: I had four cans last night.
4. Played Prof. Layton for a bit and met Matthew and Christopher at Celtic Crossing for a few hours. Christopher says that being such good friends with us has "spoiled" him and has kept his standards for boyfriends unusually--absurdly--high. His words, not mine; I'm flattered. Matthew is still coping with his recent break-up with Charli but seems to be doing well all things considered. I told him he will hurt for a long time but to do whatever it took to keep afloat through the last 5-6 weeks of this summer and that things would slowly mend themselves.
5. Should I feel bad that I get excited about frozen dinners and lunches? Stouffer's--you did this to me. Current Location: 207 Hawthorne Current Music: Camera Obscura--"Anti-Western"
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July 14th, 2009
07:34 am - Bastille Day: Spent yesterday working at the library taking inventory of a collection of Chinese books, notebooks, sketchbooks, and slides given to us as a gift from an American lady who clearly spent several years immersing herself in Chinese culture. A great storm came through early in the day, shaking windows and leaking under the doors to the outside. It was impressive weather and cooled us off for the rest of the day. I wish weather like this would come more often; hence, why I want to make the move to the Pacific Northwest by my mid-twenties. Now there's a place I could set up shop for a while.
Rebecca and I tried out a new restaurant in the midtown area called Overton Park Pizze Stone. It sits pretty on a corner lot off of Overton Park (the street), close neighbors with Fresh Slices Deli. I got a fresh margherita pizze (they spell it with an 'e' there; more Italian, I suppose) and Rebecca a pesto/goat cheese combination. The place is pretty stylish inside; I could see myself trying to rent it out for a graduation dinner or something. They also have a formidable wine rack, from what I could tell, but since both of us had ordered long before we noticed this we decided to pass for the evening and have drinks with Matthew at Celtic Crossing later in the night. Overall, the food was pleasant and fresh, a crucial element for Midtowners and certainly something that could draw in the crowd tired of the college-scene Memphis Pizza Cafe (still my favorite). The expresso creme brulee was nothing to snub either. Roughly $12+ for a personal pizze, but I would recommend it as a less busy alternative to anywhere else for your place to eat prior to any semi-formal occasion in Midtown. Enough with the review.
RB and I had a good talk about the future of our relationship and what we need from each other to make sure that we are on the same page and able to move forward at the same pace together. Things are getting difficult now that we both know she is moving to NYC in less than a month, so we're doing what we can to make sure we aren't pulling away or getting overly frightened about the transition. Here's to what's to come.
I ended up asking for a rain check regarding drinks with Matthew and Christopher. Hopefully we'll be able to make up for it tonight or tomorrow before I leave for Chicago on Thursday. Sometimes I stop and think about long we have been friends and just laugh to myself about how great it has been. Great guys; really great guys. I'd give the world for them.
On a whim, I downloaded 12-15 new albums online the other night and have been trying to give each one careful attention. The Camera Obscura album Biggest Bluest Hi-fi has been on rotation pretty regularly and is my first experience with the band. A better version of Belle and Sebastian, I think. Right now I'm listening to Fruit Bats' Mouthfuls and that too is pretty impressive. If you can only pick one, go with Camera Obscura. If you can find time for both, do it. Daniel Johnston and Echo & the Bunnymen are next.
Graduate School List 7/14: -Maryland -Texas -NYU -Purdue -Boston U -Emerson -New Hampshire -Montana -Iowa -Brown -Rutgers -Syracuse -UMass-Amherst -Michigan -Alabama -Virginia -Sarah Lawrence -Also: Ole Miss, Vanderbilt, Rhode Island, Cornell, Hollins, Florida, Vermont, Bennington
I read some poems by a guy named Donald Platt from Purdue that put them toward the top of the list. NYU is still high, as is Texas, Maryland, Iowa, and UMass. My poetry professor has connections at Sarah Lawrence, NYU, and Michigan, so I'm hoping those are helpful too. The goal is to narrow this list down to 15 by the time school starts (which doesn't seem far away, really).
Today is Bastille Day. I hope you honor it by storming something.
Current Location: 207 Hawthorne St. Current Music: Echo & the Bunnymen--"The Killing Moon"
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July 13th, 2009
08:12 am - Back Home: I'm living in my apartment for the first time since what seems like the beginning of the summer, after staying at the Bigelow-Haas house, the summer writing camp at Rhodes, and Brian-Shannon Dixon's house. On Saturday Rebecca and I had to do a thorough cleaning job from floor to fan, getting all the dust, rust, and ragweed that had accumulated in my place since I had been here last. After all, Jordan has been away a good bit too. Funny that I'm still paying rent and utilities on a vacant place though. All that to say, it is good to be back home.
Friday night RB and I went to Molly's La Casita for dinner, grabbed some tacos y quesadillas y margaritas (how bilingual!), and later met up with Matthew, Christopher, and Brittany Officer (in town from New Hampshire visiting Christopher) to see Bruno. The movie is wild, but not gratuitously. Sacha Baron Cohen is brilliant and knows how to reveal the underlying prejudices that are prevalent in American culture. A follow-up to Borat, Bruno shows us that if there is any one sub-group of humans that Americans hate more than foreigners, it is homosexuals.
Saturday the same group went to Dish, a bar/restaurant in Cooper-Young, and enjoyed a warm summer evening on the town. The last time I was at Dish, at least a year ago, Charlotte Watson and I, at Molly Bombardi's request, popped in for a "double date" (never mind the fact that Charlotte and I were not dating) and duped the random guy into paying for all four of our gin and tonics. This time, we had to pay for ourselves, and thus racked up a little bill. I had a Pesto Chicken Pizza and a starfruit-lemon-lime-citrus concoction called a 'True Love' that was delightful, albeit girly. Texted RB's friend Amy in New York/Jersey and tried to hook her up with Matthew. The verdict is still out on whether or not my efforts were successful.
Sunday I spent most of the day sprawled on the futon playing Professor Layton, etc. RB and I watched several episodes of Mad Men and got drinks (watermelon slush, cherry limeade) at Sonic later in the evening. The youth group kids were out in full force; awful. I've never seen such a plague. The workers probably had 50 orders to fill, and I can guarantee you that the tips were minimal, if at all. I watched most of Religulous before bed and have to finish it up tonight. I'll let you know what I think of it.
I should be at work in about half an hour. I suppose I should shower for that. Good-bye friends.
In up-coming news: RB and I are going to Chicago to visit the city/her grandparents this Thursday-Sunday; let me know if you've been there and know of good places for us to visit. I'll also be flying to NYC in mid-August to move RB into her new apartment before she enrolls at Fordham for grad school in the fall. Then it will be senior year, and time to get this horse a-boogyin', or something equally colloquial.
Current Location: Hawthorne Heights Current Music: Jeff Tweedy--"Remember the Mountain Bed"
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June 20th, 2009
12:15 pm - Skinny Dips: Yesterday Rebecca and I drove to Oxford to see William Faulkner's house. The trip was rough but we were okay by the time we got back to Memphis. We ordered a pizza and ate at the Haas House. Jordan and Jen went with us to Christopher's house to swim and drink. We all got naked and did flips into the water. Christopher made us some concoction of Red Bull and Fireball cinnamon whiskey, a delightful, candy-like substance. I kissed Rebecca a few times and went to bed extremely tired.
Started reading The Unbearable Lightness of Being today. I am only 10 pages in, but I do not like it. I'll give it more time to develop.
Also, I'm working on revising all of my old poems. I may end up having 200+ pages of polished (eh...) poetry in the not-too-distant future.
And if you can find a version of the song "Whale in the Night" by a band called FIRS, do it. I am enjoying it right now. Reminds me of the White Stripes mixed with Stereolab or Au Revoir Simone. Some synths and some beats and some vox. Dope.
Current Location: Rhodes College Current Music: FIRS--"Whale in the Night"
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June 19th, 2009
11:05 am - Bang Your Head: don't you hear me bang my head against the wall? of course you do, you cowards! so how come you don't answer me? band your head on your side of the wall and keep me company. --charles simic, the monster loves his labyrinth Current Location: Haas House Current Music: Dirty Projectors--"The Bride"
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June 18th, 2009
03:13 pm - On Poetry: It's the desire for irreverence as much as anything else that brought me first to poetry. The need to make fun of authority, break taboos, celebrate the body and its functions, claim that one has seen angels in the same breath as one says that there is no god. Just thinking about the possibility of saying shit to everything made me roll on the floor with happiness. --Charles Simic, The Monster Loves His Labyrinth
Current Location: Rhodes College Current Music: Culture Reject--"Sister Susi"
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June 17th, 2009
05:48 pm - Dakota, 1863: *Note: If you don't know what a sestina is, check here.
Dakota, 1863
The reason for the all the trouble was Benjamin Monroe's new dog who lurked in the shade of the provisional lean-to, a crate and fence, eyeing the boy. Ben showed the father into the downstairs bedroom. The boy manned the farm alone, and thus was the first to notice the horse
caught in the fence, a white horse lying heavy so as not to trouble his owner with a leg now laced, noosed in knotted barbs. The boy had tagged along like a dog, always at the ankles of his father. "Don't get in any trouble," he told him, "and stay away from the fence."
But the boy heard nothing of the fence, busy instead with watching the horse and the way the wire hiccuped when he snapped his haunches. The father washed his hands, unaware of any trouble that had begun outside: the dog running wild lines through the farm, and the horse sidewinding; the boy
growing more curious, as boys are apt to do; his eyeing the fence; his approaching the fallen animal, one step at a time. It was when the dog began his barking that the horse started the escape from the trouble. Ben Monroe grabbed his wife's hand, prayed: "Oh dear God, our Father,
our Rock, and our Savior; our Father, our God..." Seeing the struggle, the boy reached his hands into the tangle for the elusive white leg, the trouble, the piston pumping, destroying the fence, barbs branding deep scars on the horse's skin, dust spitting up from the ground like stray gunshots and the dog
barking, the dog running; the dog always barking and running. The father wiped his lip on his forearm and called for one more push. The horse kicked, struck, sent the base of the boy's head hard against the oak fence- post, rose in silence to a wobbly stance. Was it a silence of safety or of trouble?
From the window, the doctor spotted his son asleep near the fence, a white horse licking his brow, the dog still barking and running. Seeing no sign of trouble, he proclaimed Ben Monroe a new father and handed over his baby boy.
Current Location: Rhodes College Current Music: Au Revoir Simone--"We Are Here"
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June 14th, 2009
08:03 am - MSS'D U! Memphis has seen her share of storms the past day or two. I woke up yesterday to find the roof of my apartment strewn across the front lawn. Rhodes College is almost entirely without power. The Writing Camp has been postponed until Tuesday.
RB and I watched Stella videos online. Went to eat at China Pearl Restaurant. Drove around downtown Arlington. Took Collierville-Arlington on a breezy afternoon drive and poked around the Collierville town square. Had smoothies and iced teas at a local cafe and pranced around a few boutiques and boot shops. Talked about opening a book store near a college and selling all textbooks there, carrying a printing press to produce on-campus publications, and maintaining a coffee shop for student bands and readings. Might also hire students to work there. Profits from the shop would finance our vacations abroad, I say. After the square, ventured off to a park by my dad's old Collierville house and went on a long nature walk through the trees. Saw a neat spider and a fat baby. I was in cords, which made me very hot in the summer weather. Sun-drained, came home and got cleaned up for a night of Indian food. Golden India was with no power; tried India Palace instead. It was "o.k."
Matthew came over a bit later and played with Jen, Jordan, RB, and me. Mallory and Bailey followed. Chocolate chip cookie sandwiches. A few Summer Ales. Pizza. Fargo in the living room. A nice evening, overall. And a merry band of friends.
Met with Jason Ashlock at Huey's on Friday night. More to say about this when I get into talking about grad school advances, which may be the next post.
GR8 2 B BCK! Current Location: Hawthorne Current Music: Dan Deacon--"Crystal Cat"
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May 6th, 2009
03:43 pm - Final Poetry Portfolio: Here is my work for the semester. My efforts were two-fold: (a) revisit my juvenilia poems and work on editing, (b) write some new poems. Two of these were published in The Southwestern Review creative arts journal; several more, at the behest of my poetry director, will be sent out to various national journals this summer en route to my preparation for graduate school in the fall of 2010. I'll keep you updated on how the publishing process goes; I am expected a mailbox full of rejection slips, as is usually the case for new writers, but want to be able to document my growth and experience as a poet (Jesus...).
As for graduate school, I have my long list: NYU, Columbia, Boston University, Syracuse, Rutgers, UMass, Johns Hopkins, University of Michigan, University of Iowa, Ole Miss, Vanderbilt, Cornell
Yes, I know. But about the poems...
You will have read some of these. Some will be brand new. Let me know which ones work best and why. And, as always, enjoy.
The Pensacola Beach Pier
Her father built the Pensacola Beach Pier from Atlantic bedrock, the tremendous cattails of its scaffolding suspended in cerulean.
He worked out that way for years until the base emerged like the skeleton of some wooden whale breaching the glass-bottle surface, extending like a dark tongue into the blue mouth before him.
His daughter and I would spend nights wishing off the end, all twenty toes dangling as the last summer suns nestled in for the evening somewhere just below our shoulders.
The ocean would sail in salty and smooth with the sound of the vesper bell, the two of us holding hands inside the dark pockets of her sweatshirt, watching the lights of a distant boat or plane flicker like fireflies on a heavy playhouse curtain.
The 108th U.S. Open
Rocco fell for Tiger on the 90th hole of the 108th U.S. Open; said it was something about the red and black and Sunday afternoons.
With a wife, three boys, and a two-shot lead Rocco buried his nine-iron in the woods behind the bunker and putted three-hundred yards up the dog-legged fairway; blamed it on an off day; gave Tiger all the credit:
He's the best; I'm just glad to be here with the best.
They were yoked through 89 holes before Tiger hit the eleven-yard shot and accepted the trophy. A local television camera caught Rocco shaking Tiger's large hand, both men smiling as if they knew similar things.
Tiger then boarded his plane back to the West Coast with his wife and daughter beside him, sipped on a plastic bottle with his face on the label.
Rocco took the first leg of the drive home; still feels his stomach sit and turn over whenever he shuffles his feet at the tee.
Omen
The birds fly dangerously low overhead.
I once mistook them for a hat in the gusts.
The birds fly dangerously low overhead.
Villanelle for the Death of Our Lord *look up the structure of a villanelle, if you don't know it, to better make sense of this poem
Talk not to me of blasphemy. The Father's precious one is dead. The Son hangs free from Adam's tree
with temple curtain in one piece. The ancient saints, still tucked in bed, talk not to me of blasphemy.
The Judge's hands are cool and clean; the High Priest's coins, a gilted red. The Son hangs free from Adam's tree
and leaves an empty right-hand seat. A cloudless sky adorns his head. Talk not to me of blasphemy,
dear soldier—drift back into sleep, your belly full of wine and bread. The Son hangs free from Adam's tree;
thus, since it is the Jubilee, we must prepare a ram instead. Talk not to me of blasphemy: the Son hangs free from Adam's tree.
This is Us When We are Alone
We lie and watch the city whirl and spin about us. The vines of legs and bed-sheets tangle; the copper rinse of Blue Moon and cigarettes fills the room's cavity; and God forgive us if we do not love it enough.
From her pillow she talks about her sisters and I slink into the dream about the train station in the 30s, Prague. I, in peddler's cap and patches; she, Sunday red, a hat packed with curls, carrying the light of the world on her hip.
I keep watch from the platform gate at her ankles and wrists lapping back and forth as if keeping time, as if brushing bangs from lashes.
A kerchief falls from the lip of her handbag; coachman stuffs its corners into my pocket as I blush.
With peach ringlets, she is still; and I am still, tracing the white of her contour. Moonlight leaks through the lines of laundry pinned to the window frames. No one walks the streets; there are no dogs barking here.
Reading Robert Bly's Morning Poems at Night-time
He was reading Robert Bly's Morning Poems at night-time,
thinking about that afternoon when he sat
on the steps of Freeway Park and smiled at
how pleasant it was to be ordinary.
He reached into the mug with the rinsed grapes,
considered how last night's whiskey cup
now held these emerald marbles and how the pop
of each fruit between his teeth tasted like
the flavor of the world in stained-glass,
the splintered sunshine painting a pallet
on his tongue. It was awfully pleasant to be ordinary:
pleasant enough to jot down ordinary words.
Swan Song
The swans sing but when they realize that they must die they sing most beautifully... Men who fear death tell lies about the swans and say that they lament their death and sing in sorrow. -Plato, Phaedo
A swan song soars from the lake in my belly; a weak, feathered thing with an elegiac chorus.
I open my mouth; his song is my song; honking bass notes flood the lower staff of each sentence like an open keel.
A black beak croons; the tune hovers like spirit over the deep. He is the only one on the water tonight.
The sound is distant: a piano in the downstairs bedroom, perhaps, or a violin on the neighbor's balcony, old vinyl playing Bach after midnight. My father once sang it as a lullaby.
I have heard them say this is a sad song, but I know better.
The Big Wind
There were always more breezes when we were together, breezes tugging on shirt-sleeves, making muss of my hair. Once, in the tall grass, one even billowed her skirt up above the knees. I leave the windows open should they decide to come back.
Sometimes a ladybug flutters in, a mulberry, or a bush twig, but wind seldom fills the curtains (for she took it away in a suitcase).
Catboats and ketches undulate in the marina, bobbing, nodding as if asleep. A man lying on a bench pulls the bill down over his eyes. He dreams of a woman with arms like a windmill, spinning, turning up the air:
a big wind floating like daffodil. She was once so small even Elijah mistook her for the voice of God.
The Firstborn
Dad named her Candy, brought her car-side swaddled in a company sweatshirt, carried her across state lines in my mother's lap— a marble-fudge, yellow cake of a thing, my parents' first child,
ribbon curls and ribbing, with breathing little nostrils. During the first move Mom took a picture of her beside an over-turned box, packing-peanuts static on her face, a snout like a glossy checker.
She barked when Mom's water broke at the Wagner's Halloween party, wetted down my baby locks with a sticky stroke of tongue. Dad once saddled me on her back, curled my arms around her neck in a fragile, makeshift collar.
After Dad remarried a woman named Candy, we called her Booboo, held her in the truck bed when we saw the new house. Jordan and I stomped the backyard with a deflated rag-sack of a ball, flung it into the trees with whoops and haws, danced like dogs in the falling persimmons.
The bridge of her nose split seams in her old age, peeled at the stitches. Too tired to turn one way or the other, she rolled belly-up in the willow roots. Narrow patches were picked from the fur and flies cooled their feet in the blood of the firstborn.
Finding Romance in Dives Like These is Not Hard to Do If Your Eye Knows Where to Look *published in The Southwestern Review, May 2009
I am spraying hard piss against the porcelain wall of a second-rate urinal in a time-tested, double-occupancy
water closet off an exit several miles outside of Grand Junction, Colorado. It doesn't look like anyone else drives
this old road anymore, but I can tell at least one other poor bastard has helped me defile the place because I see
it squared up nicely in toilet paper, unflushed, clinging to the whites and stains, the smell of it creeping around
and across the back of my neck with grubby, grabbing hands. Glancing back, I notice that my great stream of urine has
split off into two tributaries (the major and the minor) in that rare event men boast about in locker rooms, the kind of shit they
wish to God their wives would applaud. Time slowly works the two currents back into one and I think about you again--
you in your bathroom with the dark corners and the wobbly toilet, always clean and often shitless--and I think that maybe you and I
can only be two streams (the major and the minor) for so long, and that, by no work of our own, we will somehow work our way back together
where we will form the thick and frothy golden arch of piss and romance that makes standing in this suffocating pile of shit maybe just worth our time.
First Rain
Twin tabbies somersault on the porch, bellies over noses, the first few droplets dark on their backs. Rain like dishwater arches over us in a bridge from the overhang; my mother picks at a pear and says how dry the ground has been this summer, how high the sunflowers will grow now. The silver one takes a paw to the puddle; his face is filled with many circles. With a wet sock he goes to the rocking chair, coils, yawns, dreams of something rainier. Inside, Big Momma boils water in a stew-pot and wipes her palms on her thighs. She thumbs a pinch of melon for the black one in the sill and calls the two of us in for dinner. We leave our shoes by the gutter and wash hands in the sink; the lights are out; my fingers cannot find the soap. Chick peas and potatoes, coarse cuts of bread, all of this and the melted butter are one taste in the dark and thunder disturbs the window pane. At ten o'clock Big Daddy tucks my chin in a blanket atop the living room floor; he kisses my head, whispers “It’s bed-time for kitty cats,” and shuts the door. His feet fall quietly up the carpet stairs.
Villanelle for a Bee
A honey-dripping farmyard drone curls moon-lit in the pistil tips not near or far, just far from home:
a sun-glazed, waxen world of comb. His father's name close to his lips, the fallen son, the farmyard drone
takes to a bed unlike his own: a mud-caked, crusted pen of pigs not near or far, just far from home.
The pebble has to leave the stone to taste the world, and with each sip the wayward, honeyed farmyard drone
forgets the place from which he'd flown. The night like syrup slowly drips onto him: far, so far from home.
As one apart and one alone, there in the darkest hive it sits: a bruised and drunken farmyard drone not near or far, just far from home.
Details *published in The Southwestern Review, May 2009
I try to capture details: the way she watches me undress with her body posed on the bed; the way the satin wrinkles. Black hair falls wind-tossed on shoulders like hillsides. Pale flames of skin flicker with buttermilk candlelight: a jar of orange marmalade packed full of fireflies.
There she sits, dew-eyed, perched like the king's menagerie. The sultan's zoologist notes the prized bird's plumage as if offering a bottle of wine: Would you like a taste? Please won't you try?
Her lips pull back like wrapping paper around her teeth, her breath weaving lavender ribbon through my ears: it ties a tight loop around my brain, wrings out memories of dreams that I had before, in another season. The juice and dregs collect in a cup that she lifts to my parting mouth. The steaming contents carry down down straight down into my stomach like a deep penny-well and it burns me like medicine.
I cannot forget the way the porcelain looked when she turned her head to the side or how her wrists met her arms, her fingers her hands. Details, because if I ignore the way her painted toes curl like tongues of paisley, or how the clean lines of her jaw recall the gulf shore, if I ignore these things I might wake one night with blood pumping fast down my veins, warm where it stops at my fingertips,
and with my hands in my hair, stand over the counter wondering which details I have managed to forget completely in the time it took to fill a glass of water or something much stronger and how unfortunate it is that I cannot go back to sleep.
Unclean
To he who hears my dirty prayers:
I wonder if you're even there.
from Nashville
II Empty out the driver's side and empty out the passenger's side and empty through the front and empty through the back and empty in all the rearview mirrors: there is nothing to speak of here save the grass in the porcelain tub, the pale grey plate with a pinch of parsley.
The sky stands tall and runs far out ahead, sur, sous, devant, derriere, dans, a gauche, a droite, black and purple clouds stitched like a patchwork tunnel, heralding, celebrating, embracing my homecoming. Thunder scatters like a spilled quiver of arrows, red vectors springing from cloud hatches and reverberating like car horns from that angle and this angle, every angle underneath the black black—the black tunnel.
IV Then the rain comes. Down.
V Then the rain comes. Down on the sunroof, one bead of water next to another.
Tunnel clouds are joining forces and conspiring against me. With murmuring murmurs, they murmur their murmurs.
VII Near the Tennessee Wildlife Refuge at the midsection of the bridge I am given respite from the storm, from the tunnel, the blackness, like going away to college or leaving your old church or throwing out the letters and taking down the photos.
My eye catches the corner of something bright and elusive, but it is not anyone calling: only a glare off my phone in the cup holder.
VIII It was an usually long year— another knot in the string again— but as I pass the dotted lines and exit signs and the landscape country music built, I have reason to believe I soon will be received in Nashville.
The Last Page Om, shantih, shantih, shantih!
The last page should be empty, wordless, silent, and white, with the family gathered 'round,
holding hands, leaning forward, dropping tears on the bars of the sterile bed below.
It is always too soon, the end never expected, even though we all know
that the pages count to somewhere, even though we all feel the book growing thinner
and slipping through our fingers like a liquid or gas. But then comes the last page
and there is no more room for a proper good-bye or the final word.
Current Location: Hawthorne Heights Current Music: Simon and Garfunkel--"Bye Bye Love"
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April 21st, 2009
07:22 pm - Life Story:
Life Story by Tennessee Williams
After you've been to bed together for the first time, without the advantage or disadvantage of any prior acquaintance, the other party very often says to you, Tell me about yourself, I want to know all about you, what's your story? And you think maybe they really and truly do
sincerely want to know your life story, and so you light up a cigarette and begin to tell it to them, the two of you lying together in completely relaxed positions like a pair of rag dolls a bored child dropped on a bed.
You tell them your story, or as much of your story as time or a fair degree of prudence allows, and they say, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, each time a little more faintly, until the oh is just an audible breath, and then of course
there's some interruption. Slow room service comes up with a bowl of melting ice cubes, or one of you rises to pee and gaze at himself with mild astonishment in the bathroom mirror. And then, the first thing you know, before you've had time to pick up where you left off with your enthralling life story, they're telling you their life story, exactly as they'd intended to all along,
and you're saying, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, each time a little more faintly, the vowel at last becoming no more than an audible sigh, as the elevator, halfway down the corridor and a turn to the left, draws one last, long, deep breath of exhaustion and stops breathing forever. Then?
Well, one of you falls asleep and the other one does likewise with a lighted cigarette in his mouth, and that's how people burn to death in hotel rooms. Current Location: Rhodes College Current Music: Elvis Perkins--"Shampoo"
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April 14th, 2009
04:23 pm - Ambition (in Latin): quodsi me lyricis vatibus inseres, sublimi feriam sidera vertice.
"O, if you write my words among those of the prophets, my proud head shall strike the sky, knocking out stars from heaven." --Horace, Odes 1.1, lines 35-36
Current Location: Rhodes College Current Music: Echo and the Bunnymen--"The Cutter"
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